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12 June 2016

Sunday Psalms: The Behavior Log

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Behavior Log

Sunday Psalms: Fictional Narratives Inspired by the Psalms, Proverbs, & Other Biblical Works

Peter’s Alcohol Log (AKA No More Drinking)

Day 1: Here we go. This is it. Day one. No more drinking. Brand new notebook to keep track of things. It’s gonna be great. 

Day 2: Alright. Yesterday was just a trial run. Today is for sure. I picked up plenty of soda and some water bottles so that I’ve got something in the house to drink. I hate water out of the tap.

Day 3: I know, I know. I said this yesterday, but today I’m really serious. Took a couple of days to get into the groove, but I don’t think I was really serious before, but now I am. Just had to get it out of my system. 

Day 4: Today was a good day. Yes! Awesome. Wasn’t even that hard. Why did I think this was going to be a big deal?

Day 6: So I’ve missed a few days in this here journal, but don’t worry. I’ve done good. Things have been a little more challenging, especially at night, but still on track.

Day 7: Today wasn’t a good day.

Day 8: #$@&%!

Day 9: I deleted Josh from my contact list. It’s his fault really. He comes over and always brings booze. I really only get drunk when he’s around. 

Day 10: I was right. Without Josh around, I didn’t even thinking about drinking. I’m not sure why we’re friends. The guy’s kind of a jerk. Glad to be done with him.

Day 11: So I met this hot girl at the grocery store. Her name’s Melinda. I pretended I couldn’t find the panchetta just so I could talk to her. I didn’t even know what panchetta was, but they talk about it on Food Network all the time, and it makes me sound like I’m a really good cook. Anyways, she gave me her number and yours truly has got a date. And by the way, panchetta is way overpriced for bacon. Who do they think they’re kidding?

Day 12: Apparently, when I drink more than a few glasses of wine, I’m a total jackass. I don’t think I’m going to be seeing Melinda anymore.

Day 13: I didn’t go to work today. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I told them all I wasn’t drinking anymore. This would kind of ruin my image. But I didn’t lie. I conveniently have a headache when I’m hung over, so I can honestly call in and say I’m not feeling well. I’m going to drink a lot of coffee and watch old reruns of “Andy Griffith.” I think the black and white images help dull my headache. Sometimes I feel like Otis and sometimes like Barney. I never really feel like Andy. My sister — that’s who reminds me of Andy. She’s always been a do-gooder. I’d love it if she would screw up, just one time. One massive mistake and things would be easier. I hate that my parents only see me screwing up.

Day 14: Dad came by today. I didn’t answer the door. I don’t want him to see me until I’ve got things under control.

Day 15: So Josh is here with a whole case of beer and a pizza. I think we all know what that means.

Day 16: Dad came by again. I still didn’t let him in. 

Day 17: I think there’s something wrong with me. What’s wrong with me? It’s not that hard to not drink. Seriously, it shouldn’t be that hard. When you think about it, it’s not really fair. Other people are addicted to things too, you know. Don’t try to tell me that coffee and chocolate and shoes aren’t addictions. Is it my fault that alcohol makes you act like an idiot ?

Day 18: Dad left a note today. I didn’t read it yet.

Day 19: I forgot that my dad has a key to my house. He uses it sparingly, but I guess he was concerned I had died and my body was rotting in here and thought he’d better make sure. I don’t really remember what all he said. I was sort of passed out when he found me lying on top of the kitchen table with nothing but my boxers on. I don’t really want to talk about it.

Day 20: I’m sober today. Honest. I must have downed two pots of coffee, and now I’m a little jittery. I’m still not ready to read Dad’s letter. He says I should. I don’t know why he can’t just tell me what’s in it. He’s like that sometimes.

Day 21: I finally read the note. It was pretty short. I thought he was going to let me have it, but he didn’t. He wants to take me backpacking. Thinks it’ll do me good to be outside for a while, just the two of us. I haven’t said yes, but I think I might. Dad also thinks I should rip up this log. Doesn’t think keeping a record of all this is what I need right now. I’ll think about that too.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Iniquities prevail against me; as for our transgressions, You forgive them. Psalm 65:3 (NASB)

He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. Psalm 103:10-14 (NASB)

-Question to Ponder: Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for today?

-Song Recommendation: Change by Tracy Chapman (Available on Itunes)

-Read Previous Sunday Psalms: Season One Episodes, Season Two: Episode 1Episode 2, Episode 3 Episode 4Episode 5, Episode 6

Written by Heidi Sadler, Inspired by Psalm 65 & Psalm 103.  © 2016 Heidi Sadler, All Rights Reserved. “Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.”

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